rest.

it was so nice to get to go away this weekend with a friend. i actually slept through the night last night. my kids are not great sleepers. it seems like every night i am awakened by at least one of them. it's not fun. however, as they get older they seem to make up for all of their lost sleep and want to hibernate for days. as i am reflecting on the past two days i am thoughtful of tomorrow. as believers, we begin our week with Rest. yes, we start our week with Rest and we live the remainder of the week with an eye and heart to "entering our Rest" again with the approaching week. REST. it means so much to me right now. when i was growing up, different leaders would say, "you come to church to perform for an audience of One." i understood that they were saying, "don't worry about others around you. just worship the Lord who sees you." the problem, however, is this- We come to Worship to see God perform. He is speaking. He is giving us gifts (communion, baptism, community). His Glory is on display. We even worship as receivers. Thanks be to God! So tomorrow morning, as you get the kids dressed, fed, listen to the arguing that comes naturally in families, grab your coffee, and as you run out the door, remember- it is worth it. Why? Because the God of the universe, the One who formed you and chose you, says, "Come unto Me & I will GIVE you REST."

If anyone lacks wisdom let him ask

so- today was such a great day. greg has been preaching through the book of james. he is on his 5th sermon so far and it has totally been our light over the past month. after worship this morning we came home and had lunch together, greg took abby to a free throw competition & the rest of the afternoon we completely bummed out. zoe was ALWAYS "there" today. she always wanted me or greg to be touching her, holding her, playing with her. i snapped the picture of her with her skates on while she was trying to kiss her daddy. the other picture, as you can see, was my attempt at braiding greg's hair. i did ok for the first time. zoe freaked completely out. she was SO excited that her daddy had his hair like this! it made us both feel so good to see her SO happy. it's the little things ;) ...anyway. i have felt such a renewal from the sermons this month. knowing that my greatest need has been met, that God has given me a way to cope with my everyday life and to know that when i doubt He helps me with my unbelief. so much rest.

Well, it's 10:00...

Sundays are my favorite day of the week. A run down of what this day usually looks like for me: Get up around 7:30 a.m. (compared to the 6 a.m. alarm I'm hitting Monday thru Friday) Eat, drink coffee, read the paper...etc. I make the girls lay all of their clothes that they are going to be wearing to worship out on our dining room table the night before. dresses, shoes, underwear, glasses...anything that goes on their body HAS to be on that table. I do not want to get into "it" before we go to worship. :) After they are dressed i then begin my "dress" ritual. we usually walk out the door around 10:00. Pick up a girl down the street and head to Westminster. Today we had a guest preacher who will be leaving for India soon with his wife and children. His sermon was very convicting as well as thoughtful and motivating. After worship we had our third Sunday lunch. everyone stays for this. it is truly one of the highlights of our families month. my kids absolutely love this lunch. on a normal Sunday, when we have no obligations (i.e.- bday parties, showers, etc) we come home and the rest of the day we are free. since my husband pastors and works a part-time job also, Sunday afternoons until we go to sleep Sunday night are literally the only time during the week that we are not "somewhere" else. the work of the pastor is weight-bearing. i am shocked at times to hear the grumblings and mumblings of parishioners. i am reminded of the saying, " if you have spent an hour in prayer over something - the elder in your church has spent three hours in prayer over that same thing." what is meant by that is : they do not approach their office, calling or position flippantly. i know, because i am his wife, that my husband eats, thinks, prays, breaths, studies, & feels the responsibility of his parish. all of that to say- on Sunday afternoons, he has just finished a sermon that he has spent a week or more preparing and he has not yet begun to "engage" with his sermon for the next week. so, we are usually free to hang out with friends, watch a movie, go to rockwall or on a date. fun, lazy stuff. today was different.
this month we have had 4 birthdays. no lie- it is like Christmas for everyone in this house EXCEPT for me and the 7 year old. EVERYONE else gets to look forward to Party Month. today, Sunday, we surprised my, now 38 year old, husband with an overnight get away. he and 2 of his closest friends went to Big D to stay in a hotel, go out and eat and I'm certain- smoke cigars. he was so excited. i know I'm crazy...because...i had two extra kiddos staying at our house tonight (because their parents got tickets to the cowboy's game and i couldn't say no because the stadium is awesome and i would want to go to that!) so- i left lunch today, ran to a bday party that started at 1:00 and lasted till 3. came home and the kiddos had just arrived. kissed my husband goodbye. swapped my van for my friends suburban. took the pizza orders from kids who think that i care what their "favorite kind of pizza is", cleaned messes, gave baths, gave meds, put kids to bed everywhere, and now i am wasting my life away on the computer. my kitchen looks like a scene from Hoarders. A family of rodents could live off of the popcorn and pepperoni that is on the kitchen floor. yet i remain calm. drinking coffee, fully loaded, looking at the open dish washer filled with clean dishes...wondering, "when was the last time i cleaned that ceiling fan?"
there is a couple in our church that brings home grown garden veggies to everyone every Sunday. i love this for so many reasons. one reason is because it is a deliberate act of love & kindness. this is a man of few words but big actions. a real servant. i told someone one day, jokingly ,that i could picture myself dressed like a pilgrim taking a squash and saying slowly, like a quiet puritan woman, "Thank you for the bounty, sir." (maybe it's better described as an english, dicken's type accent. why is this aspect so important to me???) there are literally 3 huge bowls that i am looking at right now, in my kitchen, of peppers, tomatoes, and pears. i seriously have to think of something to make and of neighbors to share with because they will not last long.
my great aunt who is in a nursing home, not for much longer though thanks to my mom, has truly struggled with life as of late. her whole life she has had the ability and the means to come and go at her will. her mind is pretty good but her body is failing her. the ability to hold her self upright, walk unassisted and drive are no longer options that she has. she has seen the "glory days" of her life.
as i think back over today, and the monotony that seems to loom around the other 6 days, i really do want to engage the "fullness" of it. i want to plunge into the deep end of "this" thing. kids everywhere, ripped hole in my chair, fingernail polish remover spill on my dining room table, crack in my tile, black paint hand prints in my hall, spankings, threats, kids spitting (man- it sounds like i live in a meth house).
one day when life rips it all away from me....when i am almost 80 and i have "used it up"...i want to genuinely, thankfully and graciously say, "Thank you for the bounty, Sir!" (minus the pilgrim garb)