Thanks for asking.

Below is a list of charachteristics that somewhat "define" children living with RAD. Reactive Attachment Disorder. RAD arises from a failure to form normal attachments to primary caregivers in early childhood. Kids will not display all of these at once, necessarily, and to greater or lesser degrees. Remember to pray for parents who are raising children with Reactive Attachment Disorder. Pray that the Lord will right the wrongs that have been done to these little blessings. And please be patient & gracious with these tired parents by not assuming that these are "disobedience" issues. Remember, "Let us all be slow to speak"...most of the parents who have chosen to adopt have walked into it soberly- with an open-stance toward their child. They ARE reading, praying, educating themselves, becoming students of their children. Adoption is messy. The Christian life is messy. What should our attitude be? "Consider it pure joy brothers when you face trials of many kinds..." Let us "hold unswervingly to the faith that we posses." Kids can grow "through" this. I was thinking yesterday about how far we have come. Our child can control herself through church now...she can stay in bed...she can make eye contact. Press on!

Childhood Symptoms of Reactive Attachment Disorder
*Superficially charming and engaging, particularly around strangers or those who they feel they can manipulate

*Indiscriminate affection, often to strangers; but not affectionate on parent's terms

*Problems making eye contact, except when angry or lying

*A severe need to control everything and everyone, worsens as child gets older

*Hyper vigilant

*Hyperactive, yet lazy in performing tasks

*Argumentative, often over silly or insignificant things

*Frequent tantrums or rage, often over trivial issues

*Demanding or clingy, often at inappropriate times

*Trouble understanding cause and effect

*Poor impulse control

*Lacks morals and values

*Little or no empathy; often have not developed a conscience

*Cruelty to animals

*Lying for no apparent reason

*False allegations of abuse

*Destructive to property or self

*Stealing

*Constant chatter, nonsense questions

*Abnormal speech patterns

*Developmental/learning delays

*Fascination with fire/blood/gore; will usually make the bad choice

*Problems with food; either hoarding or refusing

*Concerned with details but ignoring main issues

*Few or no long term friends; tend to be loners

*Attitude of entitlement or self importance

*Sneaks things without permission even if she/he could have them by asking

*Triangulation of adults; pitting one against the other

*A darkness behind eyes when raging

*Parents appear to be overcontrolling

I Hit The Wall.

I am sure that this will come as a surprise to many of you, but I am bothered by a lot of noise. This is very interesting even to me. I was raised in a large family. I had loud friends. I was loud. I liked my music loud and my fun loud. I worked as a youth minister, where noise is a must. One morning, however, I woke up to the noise of four little girls. My daughters. The main problem is that I can't send them home. They have to stay. They all like to talk all at once. One of them likes to sing any song, other than the one that is on the radio, at the same time that we are all trying to enjoy the one that has purchased air time. One of them screams every word that comes out of her mouth and one of them whines every word that comes out of hers. One of the girls is extremely dramatic and likes to yell phrases like, "Fine! I won't play then! It's too late!" The problem is that none of the things that she yells is contextually appropriate for the issue that she is responding to. Tonight all of these children made mush of my brains. I texted a friend of mine to see if she would watch the precious angels for one hour. I didn't hear back from her. One of my friends called, who is the mother of three, has a wounded leg & had had people at her house all day. When she VOLUNTEERED to keep the girls for an hour I was a little hesitant. But, that didn't last long. I took the girls over there and Greg and I went to Chili's for one hour. In the car on the way to her house it reminded me of the Sunny D commercial where the parents are starring into oblivion and the teen aged girl is singing off key while the brother is playing a video game. By the time that we dropped them off we were literally like, "Let's not say a word...Let's just be quiet and press delete." After an hour we had regrouped and actually went back to the house where we had left our children and picked them back up. That to me is the amazing part of parenting. One always goes back. Huh.
After we got home, Greg put the two little ones to bed. If your house is like my house, for some odd reason all of the children seem to obey the dad a little more quickly than the mom. We made some coffee and sat down to watch Collision, which I strongly recommend. We pre-ordered this several months ago and have been anxiously awaiting its arrival. GREAT way to end the night. LOVE a great debate. All of us need to re-think our beliefs. We all need to ask ourselves difficult questions as well as welcome difficult questions from others. Inter-acting with new ideas should not scare us. Other people doing things differently than how we ourselves do things should not make us feel insecure or stir up self doubt. Answering the why questions should lead us to a stronger understanding of what we truly believe.
I am so thankful that I have Greg. I am so thankful that I have my children. I honestly do not know what I would do without them....except sleep...I would sleep. I am thankful for family, friends, coffee & grace.
Lucy Grace has started saying something new. almost every morning while stirring her "PICK" of the flavored oatmeal, she says, "Mommy, this is the best day of my life." Oh to be that thankful. To open a box of variety oatmeal, where only Peach has been left to choose, and to still think that this is the BEST day of your life- that is real gratitude.