Let's have lunch.

(This is a little difficult to read-for some reason it is not saving my spacing and paragrahs! sorry...it all smashed together! BOO!) Many arguments have flooded my mind this week. There have been numerous discussions amoung my peers, around the table, in the aisle of the market and on the phone. I have been wondering what I would really feel free to write once i sat in front of this computer. I have yet to find a topic that people are more opinionated on than home education. I have to be honest: For the life of me, I cannot figure out why this is such a hot topic. As i sit here, legs crossed, in the middle of my couch, i am staring at pictures of my five children. Three of these are children that my husband and I sought out. We took hours of classes, spent alot of money for homestudies and took cpr/first aid classes. We went through state agencies to secure their adoptions. WE are their parents. Our other two have benifitted from the education that we received through this process. So, all of their little faces are gazing upon me as i write this. They are ultimately our responsibility. We never intended on home-educating our children. In fact I remember using words like, "cruel, unnatural, and isolating" in regard to this idea. I have heard words such as, "weird, dorky, anti-social, and a**holes" as of late. The idea seems to infuriate some and baffle others. Why would someone choose this form of education? Why would someone deny their child access to the public system and the opportunity to interact with other kids and diverse ideas? This blog will not address any of those questions. We have chosen the responsibility of educating our children in the way that we think is best for all of them. So have you. If you are a parent your child's education is your responsibilty. You may not give it much thought. You may think that you're doing the only thing that you can do. You may not care. You may be thrilled and content with what you have chosen...Great! It is your responsibilty. We have had our children in every scenario and have had good experiences in all of them. Our reasons for home-educating are far more complex than thinking "we can meet all of our child's needs." Here is the issue: What compells an individual to give their unsolicited opinion, to me, about my decision to educate my children at home? It happens almost weekly. Teaching your children at home is not what you think. Yes, we have a plan. We have a curriculum. We complete our work and we grade our work. But we, my family, do not sit in desk. Where do your children sit when they do their homework? Well, it functions quite the same way in our house. Ellie has her 2 week assignment sheet for all of her studies. English, Math, Reading & Writing. She is also reading a book and taking notes on Texas History. She is slowly working her way through a Classical Cursive book that i am forcing her to complete. :) sound familiar? Her current library series is "A Series of Unfortunate Events". Most of her work is done in her room, under her loft bed, with her laptop. She is also in gymnastics. Abby is home three days a week and attends a university model school two days a week. She is currently in Worldviews, Latin 1 (which includes History) & Math. She is reading The Deadliest Monster - which compares and contrast the two previous books, Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and Frankenstien. Next year she is registered for Latin 2, Pre Algebra and Spanish 1. She will begin Omnibus, through veritaspress.com with several other friends in the fall. She is in competitive cheer and DI. In many ways, she is just like your 13 year old. She is learning how to interact with the world. She is insecure about her height and she gets her braces off next week. The only difference is that she does her school work in a different venue. She usually sits at her desk, in her room, facing a big window. She has her own computer too - which has served us well. She burns the midnight oil weekly completing projects or preparing for test. The little girls (1st & 2nd grade) do exactly what you imagine. We read, read, read. We write, sing, color & cook. They play together all day. We meet with two other families every Monday for Geography and Missions. My goal with all of the girls, has always been, for everyone to be on target by 3rd grade. IF this is a reasonable goal for them. We usually sit at the dining room table for writing & Math. However, Lucy Grace likes to open all of the blinds on the 4 tall windows surrounding my bed and lay there, in the sun, to read. She has just started Charlott's Web. Why do I tell you all of this? I feel that their is a HUGE misunderstanding about what is, or is not, going on in the homes of home-school families. My kids have been interrogated in the grocery store, by other shoppers usually, about what they are doing in school. I am not saying that it is wrong to ask my kids if they are reading a fun book- but don't start quizzing them in the line at Walgreens. GEEZ! Don't assume that we are not doing anything -because most of our work can be completed in 3 hours. That leaves the remainder of the day for other things. My children are not geniuses and I am not a super mom because of this choice. It is okay if you have a strong opinion about "homeschoolers" because you had a "bad experience with some of them." The truth is: I have had bad experiences with public school kids AND private school kids AND home-school kids. However, when you tell me, in passing, where your kids go to school - i do not say, "Oh I don't agree with that!" really? on what planet does that make sense? I am not living for you. I have a friend who is of a different political persuasion than me. What i DID NOT say to her was, "How can you be that stupid? I don't agree with you being part of that Party. HOW can you be a Christian and support these people?" Rather, I asked if we could have lunch so that she could give me some insight into her way of thinking. Show me how SHE was viewing this. I would welcome an invitation like that any day. Maybe...just maybe....your view of education has been too narrow. it amazes me when traditional, brick & morter schools, switch to ipads or off campus educational options, it is viewed as innovative. lots of home-educated kids have been doing this for years and it's been looked at as "not good enough". We live in mobile, globally connected world. we are no longer an isolated, little, house on the prarie. not that their is anything wrong with that! we are contributing, active members of society who take education & community connected-ness seriously. We do not all home-school the same way or for the same reasons. Homeschooling is considered a private education in the State of Texas. That means that we are autonomous and choose our own curriculum. That means that if i am using a specific curriculum and i then place my child in a different school setting where a different curriculum is being used - my child will probably need time to adjust. It does not mean that they "don't know what they are doing BECAUSE they were homeschooled." Enough is enough. Some homeschool parents could say the same about their child's education after bringing them home from a traditional classroom. Let's try to believe that everyone is trying to do what they think is best for their child. It is not merely an indictment on your choice because I choose something different. If I HAD to narrow it down to our top 3 reasons for homeschooling they would be....

Loosing Me

The most difficult transition for me, concerning parenthood, over the past twelve years has been loosing myself. I have noticed that I have become a very un-opinionated individual concerning "stuff". I really do not care a whole lot anymore about where we eat, if I get to buy a new pair of Tom's or if we watch Discovery or NatGeo. (Now, music is an entirely different subject!) I think that I, concerning our family, am learning slowly but surely, how to let go.
When Abby was 2 1/2 and Ellie was about 4 months, I got a job. "I needed a job so that I felt like I was accomplishing something." It is really comical to me to read that statement now, however, then it was survival. I remember telling Greg that I didn't feel as if I could accomplish one task all day - that I wouldn't have to turn right around and re-do due to the precious 2 year old. So I got a job at Starbucks and believe me, I felt great pride in taking the trash out there, cleaning the store and making drinks that seemed like gold to the customer.
Now, I am busy all day- re-doing what I did the day before. I am washing all of the time. Picking up plates, re-filling milk cups & picking up wet towels. I am building,however, one block at a time, one day at a time, one encouraging word, one "good job", one pat at a time. I have learned that in loosing me I am finding me.
I think that at the beginning of every school year I have to re-focus. I have to preach the Gospel to myself. I must re-new my mind and my will. I am seeing though, by God's grace, what I was unable to see before. My grandchildren need me now, to pour into their mom's. My future son-in-laws are relying on me to train, mold, indoctrinate and teach-how-to-follow, their future wives. I have felt, and now more than ever, the weight of this God-given purpose.

For All of the Skeptics...

Come on...
You know who you are....
It felt like Christmas had come early...
I came home from the soccer game to find two huge boxes on our porch...
Guess what we got...
Our curriculum for next year has arrived!


I am super excited about it! I know that the girls are going to freak out when they see all of these new books. I am excited about the literature and history. I have decided not to use Shurley English. It is a great program - I just do not like it. I have found it to be unnecessarily complicated. I'm not being critical if that's what you use...I just do not care for it. I am using Rod & Staff instead. Nothing fancy- it's just straight forward and gets the job done.

Math:

Good 'ol Saxon

Did I say that I am SUPER excited about all of this?

Latin:



And of course - the Reading...I L.O.V.E. these guides:



And really quickly- History. I never knew that I liked history so much until I started teaching my kids. To be able to tell the story of what happened and then discuss the results that followed - it is a blast.



I know that it is hard to understand if you do not home school, however, I am so happy that I get to do this!

Spring Brake

I am sitting at the foot of my bed on the love seat. I am sitting "criss-cross- applesauce" sideways leaning against a pile of laundry. I would have to have about 10 pillows to achieve the same level of comfort that I am experiencing now from "all that is unfinished". We have had a great week- all things considered. It would be a lie to say that it has been care-free and non-tumultuous. It has been a hard week, however, it was needed. The activity load, because it was Spring Break, was strenuous; as well as expensive - but the photographs are tangible memories of the activities that were so quick to end. The bird "cage" at the zoo was not quick- the girls could have stayed in there all day. I, however, do not share the same love for the canaries.

We did not go skiing, rock climbing or to the beach. We stayed home every night. the girls had a couple of friends sleep over. It wasn't until Thursday that I thought, "We should DO something." So about 10 a.m. we loaded up with a friend and her girls and took off. We had a great day at the zoo and got home around 6:30 that night. The girls were tired and their friends wound up staying the night here. The next morning my mom took my four to Chuck E. Cheese. We were there all day. It was actually really fun and I had a great time being there with my mom. Thus far, it is the highlight of Lucy Grace's life. She could barely sleep the night before. She loved it. They all had so much fun and wore themselves out running & playing games. Zoe threw a fit when we told her that it was time to leave. That's when I noticed that the manager was watching us.

I knew what was coming. He came closer to us. "What's wrong with her?" he asked. "Oh, she's just upset because it's time to go." I said. I moved away from him but he stayed close by me until we got to the light: the one that you put your arm under to make sure that someone's not leaving with the wrong family. I have only had this happen about two other times. I knew that he wanted to make sure that Zoe was mine and I am appreciative of that, however, I am not sure how i would've proven to him that she was mine other than with a family picture. Someone told me that they carry a copy of their child's birth certificate & adoption "something or another" with them just in case the police is called. Maybe I need to consider that- not sure. honestly, if I did that - it would probably wind up with lip prints or chewed gum on it. Zoe knows that our skin is different and she knows that I am her mom...and I'm pretty sure that she could take someone out.

Every night this week Greg has read with the girls -just like normal. We have eaten all of our evening meals together -just the same. We have all started out in our own beds and then somehow everyone ends up in ours -as usual. That's why i was shocked by Abby's statement this morning.
"Mom," she said. "We haven't got to spend very much time together this week."
Humph..."What?" I asked.
"You know, like 'together'" she said.
I must confess - I'm not sure exactly what she means. But what I think she means, and by how she responded to what I said, makes me believe that I am pretty close.
"So, you mean like sitting at the table talking & reading with each other? Like we do on school days?" I asked.
She smiled, shook her head and said, "Yep. I like that."
"Yep," I said smiling back. "Me too."

I am glad to get a brake from the break. I am glad to re-engage and to lose the carnival of activity again. Even though it was fun - I am....We are...home-bodies. Boring, coffee-drinking, snuggle-up, memory making home-bodies. And, from her statement to me- it seems that there is still a lot of "unfinished business" that I need to settle into with the girls. Sometimes I believe that I am accomplishing the same goal with the girls by "hauling" them everywhere, entertaining them with activities and getting them to the other people that they will "engage" with that day. But the truth is- I'm not.

While I am typing, I can smell the brisket that is cooking for lunch tomorrow. Our church eats a planned meal together every third Sunday after worship. I love this meal. Apart from all of the great food that everyone signs up to bring, we have such great conversation together -sitting across the table from one another, engaging, sharing food, laughing and listening. For some of these individuals- this might be the only meal that they share with another person all week. For all of us it is significant and shaping.

I believe, as a Christian, that our families are micro-cosms of the church. Should we not just be "making time for"- but rather centering our existence as a family "around" these times of worship and great conversations together; sitting across the table from one another, engaging, sharing food, laughing and listening to each other, being shaped by and shaping our family....as well as -inviting others to our table.

I pray that my days will not be a blur. I pray that I will keep a thoughtful, simple, harnessed view of how life is to be. As one writer says, "Teach me to order my days correctly that I might gain a heart of wisdom" - So be it.

"Don't ask me again. I mean it."

To say that we are "adjusting" to our old way of doing things would be accurate. Trying to be steady, consistent and normal takes more work than one might think. We have crap scattered everywhere...this is because we do not have a room that contains all of our necessary supplies that are needed constantly. Since I decided to go ahead and pull the girls out a month into the 2nd semester I needed to pull some curriculum from all corners of the earth to adequately complete the year. I had everything that I needed for 2nd grade but was slightly ill equipped for 4th grade. On the first day I was having lunch with a couple of pastor's wives, who also home-school, and I mentioned that I needed to go home and order a couple of things and one of the wives had the math book, workbook and teacher's book that I needed. I came home and realized that I already had the 4th grade reading book and reading workbook that I needed. Whew! I was so relieved because I didn't want to waste a lot of time with the U.S. Postal Service. So the next morning we started with the Math book and we began exactly where Abby left off the week before. We move on to Reading. She reads the lesson and moves on to the workbook. Here's the deal- I love to help my children...but don't take advantage of it. That's just the honest truth. I can tell when my child really needs help and when she is lingering...waiting for someone to tell her the answer or to do the work for her. So after about the third time of asking questions that had seemingly obvious answers to me I tell her, "Don't ask me again! I mean it! Take your time, read and write the answer." The next day we were at the table and I was helping her. I did feel like the answers were a little too difficult to "infer" from the material. So I had her move on to something else and I went online to chat with a "specialist". I ask Joel, the specialist, if I was missing something. I told him what book we were in and asked him about the previous book and asked if we might have "missed" something-some prior readings, entire books...etc? He assured me that we were fine and that we were probably in a "review" portion of the book, etc. So, I take the reader and scan it. "Man, This is asking questions that are not in this book." So I say, "Abby, here's the book it's asking you questions about...maybe this was part of the 3rd grade curriculum so just scan through the first chapter and see if we're on the right track." OK- before anyone starts to criticize me for this I was at my wit's end with this book. It had been a thorn in my side for two days...and it's good material...so I was just trying to get to the bottom of it. So she comes back and says, "Well, that helped. All of the answers were right there." What the heck?
The next morning we had to run an errand so Abby said "I'm going to take my book with me." No kidding, we are in the car and she starts in, "I can't do this. The answers are not in here!" I am so frustrated. Now, I know on a flat screen this seems ridiculous...but have you ever had a day when you wake up, get out of bed and step on a kid's wooden toy block? You go to get in the shower and there's no hot water. You get dressed, pour your coffee and you spill it on your white shirt? Then you should understand. There is a lot of emotion. When Abby starts whining, then Ellie starts whining. Who I must say has absolutely nothing to whine about. To this, and I'm a little embarrassed to to reveal this, I turn around and I'm sure they will totally mimic me and make fun of me for this one day, I say, "OH MY GOSH! It's not that hard. Do not ask me another question until you have read all of it. You are not going to be 'stupid girls'. You two are smart and you're not going to be lazy." There was steam coming out of my ears...I'm sure of it.
Greg comes home for lunch and I am quickly moving around the kitchen transferring a lot of information at once. "Have you called the company about the book?" he asked. "YES-I told you that I did!" I said with the tone of "Don't question me I'm not stupid!" He slowly looks up and says, "No, you said you chatted with them." OH.MY.AM.I.AN.IDIOT???? He leaves and goes back to work.
Later that afternoon after more "questions" I go to Abby and say, "Put the books on the shelf. I'll just order something different." We did this same material in 2nd grade so I am beside myself. I go and get the books, call my friend Christi, and say "Ok- I CANNOT figure this out."
No lie...I lay the books out in front of me and I HAD GIVEN HER: Reading Book Unit 1 & Reading Workbook Unit 2.
OH
MY
WORD!!!!!
That's like leaving something unplugged and thinking it's broken. When I told her she was totally cool but I felt like such an idiot. I texted Greg and of course it made his afternoon. The next morning Abby completed her lesson with ease. She laughed and said, "Finally! This makes sense."
I am such a 'stupid girl'.

So the truth is...

I have had no time to blog. Most people do not know this...but I love to write. In fact, I do it in my head all day. There is a constant commentary playing. Note that I said "commentary" and not "voices". I am constantly thinking of ways to write what is taking place in real time. I know that that is odd but I have done it for as long as I can remember. Maybe it is something I started doing to make sense of things around me...but I have no idea when it began or what set it into action. If I saw a ball roll into the street I would think something like, "The ball was carried down the street by the cool wind of the evening like a leaf resting on a calm stream." What the heck is wrong with me? I am just now coming to terms with my need for therapy.

As you know, I began homeschooling again mid-February. I have gone back and forth about how much to post concerning this decision, however, one writes about what one knows. On that note, here I go.

When I began homeschooling several years ago I was very nervous about my decision. I saw it as a choice that some made when other options seemed less promising. Most of my insecurities rested in what others thought about my decision. Most of my fears were grounded in the unknown. Can I do it? Can I do it right?

Thanks be to God- I am no longer in that place. I am convinced that we are where we should be. Since I am coming back to it- I no longer have the fear and I am free from the concern about what others think about our decision to do this. For those of you who have more than one child, remember your second birth compared to your first. Remember bringing your second, third or fourth child home from the hospital. With our first daughter we followed all of the rules. With our second, we weren't near as concerned about what "they" said we should do or how to do it. By the time our third was here - she was just along for the ride.

I have noticed some things this time around that have peaked my interest a little. Almost everyone who has entered into a discussion with me on homeschooling has approached it from the perspective of what we are taking away from our children versus what we are giving to them. The past several weeks we have been in the re-entry stage. We are learning to be home together again. I have had to apologize, ask them to forgive me & become more patient already. I have had to learn again how they learn. Knowing how they learn and having to teach an idea or concept to them changes our dynamic so much. We truly communicate. I must admit, I had to go back to Abby on Friday and ask her to forgive me because I was explaining something in a way that made perfect sense to me - but not to her. I was so angry that she wasn't understanding what I was saying. I stepped back, got some coffee, asked her to forgive me for my attitude and then we started over and she got it. See, even this process was good for us.

We begin at 9:00 every morning. We go to the table, talk, pray, read the bible (right now we are in Romans), go to YouTube and find a worship song that has lyrics (this past week we sang, Jesus Messiah by Chris Tomlin everyday). We take time for prayer request, confession of sins and prayer. After that both older girls start with math and then go on to their reading workbooks. Next they have grammar, writing & memorization work. Ellie is finishing up Little House in the Big Woods, which she was reading in school & Abby is reading Annie Oakley. We are reading out loud in the afternoon, The Magician's Nephew. They are not doing much more than this for the rest of this year. Of course Ellie is being tested on spelling and reading. Abby is doing a lot of reading and lots of narration/book reports. The fall will be a different story. We did decide to go with Veritas Press. We ordered their curriculum last month. I love the classical model. I'm a nerd. The history, Bible, Latin....I dig it.

If I were to sum up where I am now compared to where I was- I would say something like this: "The clumsy enthusiast groped along until one day she realized that her once fresh bruises were gone and felicity's sweet song was leading her still."

Today consisted of...

Today was my first day back, after a two year break, to homeschooling. Ellie, my 8 year old, began again today. Abby, my 10 year old, will begin again at the first of March. I have missed them and I am glad to have the time with them again. Today fit like a glove. It is amazing how easy it felt and how much laughing there was in the house. Much more relaxed again - yet all of our school work complete. What an unexplainable feeling to sit down for dinner again and not have to hurry. Ellie sat down with Greg tonight to show him everything that she had accomplished and was so happy that she had completed it by noon. We walked to a park down the street after lunch where we played for about 45 minutes...it was SO stinkin' cold! The kids did not mind a bit. On the walk home they had a blast filling their pockets full of pecans. They are all over the sidewalks. After we got home, we read a couple of small books, did laundry and then we went to pick up my great aunt.
Miss Bea, who is 79 years old, lives with my mom. And she has done a great job having her in her home. This year I made the connection, for the first time, why James categorizes orphans & widows together..."in their distress". There are so many observable similarities b/t foster children and the elderly - to list them would take days. Voicelessness, Nameless, Helpless, Isolated, Alone, Feelings of Hopelessness, Despairing...the list goes on. One of the few times, however, that I see true, raw, happiness is when Miss Bea is with my children. They are really great with her & she engages with them. Today they reminded her over & over again how to play UNO, and they were very patient every single time she played the wrong color & played when it wasn't her turn. We made Chicken Pot Pie- it was a vote that was decided upon by her! And Little Zoe climbed all over her, acting like a puppy, sniffing her face, kissing her and barking at her. Miss Bea even let Zoe tie a "collar" onto her! I am convinced more and more everyday for the need of community. There are lots of people in our house to "absorb" some of the "nuances" that come with being old! (& that also come with being an ex-foster child with r.a.d.!) It was really a great day. Now, I am beat. I am ready to climb into my warm bed, pray a prayer of thanksgiving and drift away to my "crazy world of dreams".

Don't forget- Feb. 17 is Random Acts of Kindness Day! ;)

Looking back at old post...

i have been going back through some of my original post from a couple of years ago. i ran across this and had to share it - SO funny- it was from the end of 1st grade or the beginning of 2nd grade (Abby) :

"I thought that I would, again, share with you the paragraph that Abby wrote. She went to Christi's house one day for "school" and I asked her to give Abby the first sentence and to have her do some "free" writing....Here's what we got-

"One morning I took my favorite stuffed animals outside for tea. I said, 'Would you like some tea?' But no one answered. So I asked again. But everyone was quiet. Then I yelled at my stuffed animals and everyone said, 'Yes.' "

So...for those of you who want to homeschool because you want your kids to have great memories of what a patient & kind mother you must have been...sacrificial and self-less....never answering in a harsh tone...

Rethink it.