I will never leave you...

"I will not leave you as orphans- I will come to you." -John 14:8


This week has felt impossible. There has been a concentration of difficult news flowing through our front door. I have honestly had to hold back the tears constantly. And as you know, fatigue does not help the situation. From people making choices to walk away from it all to friends who are left in the aftershock of the sin that has been done to them. When news of the earth quake hit Haiti Greg immediately hollered at me to ask about Amos.I, unaware of what had happened, immediately began to cry when I saw the screen. Amos, Aaron and Jamie's son, who is still in Haiti, is the same age as Zoe. This seems to be resting on me a little harder today. As I listen to Zoe play with Wren, argue with Lucy Grace over the DS & and think about how I "wish everyone would be quiet" - I am praying for their boy to come home. I am praying that he will not get sick, not be hurt and not be scared amidst the destruction the surrounds him. I am praying that his 4 year old mind will recover from all that he has lived through. Praise be to God for his parents, Lori & Licia at the rescue center & many who are praying for the people of Haiti.
As I reflect on my week,all that has taken place, the devastation and destruction is not as easy to see...yet. Fruit takes a long time to produce. What begins as a small seed will one day burst into full bloom. It may take an entire generation but it will yield its fruit...good or bad. My fear is that the seeds of destruction that are being planted now, by selfish actions, sinful longings and earthly mindedness will yield their fruit to our children, to their children and to their children.
I pray that we will look at the earthquake and see the unseen reality that it is displaying for us.
I pray that we will see the Lord in the simple, mundane, daily work that we call Life.
I pray that we will leave our children a heritage of fertile soil that will yield good fruit.
I pray that we will see ourselves as part of a greater story.

What I am reading now...

This is really good...

My mom forwarded this to me and i really LOVE it-




For those born before 1980-
First, we survived being born to mothers
Who smoked and/or drank while they were
Pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing,
Tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles,
Locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode
Our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children,
We would ride in cars with no car seats,
No booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day
Was always a special treat.

We drank water
From the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends,
From one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon.
We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar.
And, we weren't overweight.
WHY?

Because we were
Always outside playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day,
As long as we were back when the
Streetlights came on.

No one was able
To reach us all day.. And, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps
And then ride them down the hill, only to find out
We forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes
a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes.
There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable,
No video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's,
No cell phones,
No personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.
WE HAD FRIENDS
And we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth
And there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt,
And the worms did not live in us
Forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
Made up games with sticks and tennis balls and,
Although we were told it would happen,
We did not put out very many eyes..

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and
Knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just
Walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn't had to learn to deal
With disappointment.
Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law
Was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best
Risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years
Have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility,
and we learned how to deal with it all.

In the first 14 years I've learned...

1. that i am usually wrong.
2. when greg recommends a furniture arrangement- he's usually right.
3. that new traditions can be taught and learned.
4. that it doesn't matter who gets the credit for something.
5. that greg has more patience than i do.
6. to listen.
7. to not expect someone to read my mind.
8. that it doesn't matter if anyone else in the world agrees with what we decide is ok with us.
9. that we are on the same team.
10. that i can trust greg.
11. that i am blessed to have a husband that ask my opinion and really cares about what i think.
12. that someone can see all of my faults, sin & ugliness and still love me.
13. that i can see the same in someone else and love them more everyday.
14. that i am not as good of a wife as he is a husband.

What is this all about

i can't seem to shake this cough. of coarse i have really only had it for a couple of days. however, as everyone knows, i do not suffer as well as i should. my girls are at an age where "they are old enough- but not really" to take care of lots of things. but there is usually a bigger mess for me to clean up in the end when i hand it completely over. so, like other moms, when i feel just a little bit under the weather it's difficult...not bad enough to be in bed for the day yet too bad to be doing everything that needs to be done.
so- here i am -blogging in the dark. i was coughing so much that i knew i would wake greg up if i stayed in the bed. the part that i hate worse than having to get out of bed at 4:30 in the a.m. is knowing that when my foot hits the ground Wren, our dog, is going to hear it. one thing leads to another and before 6:30 everyone in this house will be begging for a pop tart. oh- and we're out of coffee. that's like being out of water in our world.
i have been thinking a lot about Christ and the fact that i am a Christian...primarily because of Advent. I listened to Abby on Sunday as she lead us to the second candle with another adult in our church. as i was preparing to speak atthe 5th & 6th grade chapel i studied 2 samuel where david sent for and brought mephibosheth to himself. he became his father. i am acutely aware during this season of Advent ("coming"), as we move toward epiphany ("discovery"/the day the magi discovered Jesus...who was probably two at that point) that this world is not my "rest", my home, my end. i am keenly aware of how odd, unsettling and foreign that sounds to many of my friends who are not professing believers, rather professing unbelievers. as foreign as it would be for my non-Christian friends to try and grasp this -it would be that foreign for me to try and reject this. it is who i am, what i am , how i am and why i am. when i light the candle and read the story i find comfort in knowing that i am a part of something so much greater than myself. it is not by me but it is for me. i did not attain it it took hold of me. my hope rest in the covenant made b/t God and Christ - on my behalf.
well, i have already had one little one crawl into my arms and it's just 6:05 a.m.. In the next 15 min. i will let the shower get very, very hot. i will take a shower. and then, when it's time to get out- i won't. i will stand there for another 3 minutes, drowning out my concerns, my schedule, the broken washer, my coughing and my empty coffee pot. As the water flows i will remind myself that no matter what happens today, "My greatest need has been met."

Holiday Thanks-giving

over the past several days i have tried to articulate how thankful i am for EVERYTHING. however, i have been unsuccessful. in my feeble attempts i have found myself choked by emotion and at times paralyzed by fear. i think when i feel the most thankful i am simultaneously aware of my mortality. it seems that the more i have invested the more raw everything becomes. i remember my mom saying that "when you have children it's like wearing your heart outside of your body." i think that this sentiment can be felt in so many avenues. basically, the more you truly love God, people, your church body, your family & friends- the more you realize how utterly blessed you are to have any of them! So thankful for a warm house, a kid who needs special care and three who do not, a loving & strong husband who loves me and a church family that loves us. Thank you, Lord...how could I ask for more?

I Hit The Wall.

I am sure that this will come as a surprise to many of you, but I am bothered by a lot of noise. This is very interesting even to me. I was raised in a large family. I had loud friends. I was loud. I liked my music loud and my fun loud. I worked as a youth minister, where noise is a must. One morning, however, I woke up to the noise of four little girls. My daughters. The main problem is that I can't send them home. They have to stay. They all like to talk all at once. One of them likes to sing any song, other than the one that is on the radio, at the same time that we are all trying to enjoy the one that has purchased air time. One of them screams every word that comes out of her mouth and one of them whines every word that comes out of hers. One of the girls is extremely dramatic and likes to yell phrases like, "Fine! I won't play then! It's too late!" The problem is that none of the things that she yells is contextually appropriate for the issue that she is responding to. Tonight all of these children made mush of my brains. I texted a friend of mine to see if she would watch the precious angels for one hour. I didn't hear back from her. One of my friends called, who is the mother of three, has a wounded leg & had had people at her house all day. When she VOLUNTEERED to keep the girls for an hour I was a little hesitant. But, that didn't last long. I took the girls over there and Greg and I went to Chili's for one hour. In the car on the way to her house it reminded me of the Sunny D commercial where the parents are starring into oblivion and the teen aged girl is singing off key while the brother is playing a video game. By the time that we dropped them off we were literally like, "Let's not say a word...Let's just be quiet and press delete." After an hour we had regrouped and actually went back to the house where we had left our children and picked them back up. That to me is the amazing part of parenting. One always goes back. Huh.
After we got home, Greg put the two little ones to bed. If your house is like my house, for some odd reason all of the children seem to obey the dad a little more quickly than the mom. We made some coffee and sat down to watch Collision, which I strongly recommend. We pre-ordered this several months ago and have been anxiously awaiting its arrival. GREAT way to end the night. LOVE a great debate. All of us need to re-think our beliefs. We all need to ask ourselves difficult questions as well as welcome difficult questions from others. Inter-acting with new ideas should not scare us. Other people doing things differently than how we ourselves do things should not make us feel insecure or stir up self doubt. Answering the why questions should lead us to a stronger understanding of what we truly believe.
I am so thankful that I have Greg. I am so thankful that I have my children. I honestly do not know what I would do without them....except sleep...I would sleep. I am thankful for family, friends, coffee & grace.
Lucy Grace has started saying something new. almost every morning while stirring her "PICK" of the flavored oatmeal, she says, "Mommy, this is the best day of my life." Oh to be that thankful. To open a box of variety oatmeal, where only Peach has been left to choose, and to still think that this is the BEST day of your life- that is real gratitude.