The First Day of Non-Home School

Well, Ellie's first day of First Grade and school outside the home is in less than 8 hours. Abby will begin 3rd grade and I will experience my first day with my two older girls gone.






Ellie assured me on several occasions today that she would "think about me alot". Then she gave me a crooked & excited smile that let me know for sure that I would not cross her mind even once in the eight hours that she would be gone.
Abby reported to me in the van today that "at the park in the tunnel crawl space the worst word in cussing history is written there." Then she laughed and said, "That's pretty funny, huh, 'cussing history'." She was so proud of herself for that phrase. Like mother, like daughter....
I think they'll be fine.

I have been thinking...

a lot about contentment. I tend to think about "the next thing." I was recalling a friend of mine who constantly fussed about his context. The city was too hot, the people were all fake, the student life style was not satisfying, working on a PhD is so time consuming...etc. The next place they moved for their life to finally "begin" ended two months later with the spouses announcement that she was "done with the marriage". I have often wondered, "What if the next place turns out to be worse and all the while I've not enjoyed where I am because I was in a hurry to get somewhere I didn't want to be."
This morning is Saturday. All across the world people are relaxing in their pj's, drinking coffee and preparing for tomorrow. What if we decided to stop preparing. Really. Just for one day. I have a pile of laundry in my laundry room and one in my bathroom. There are two walls left to paint in my living room and two that still need to be cut in. There is dinner to think about and a lesson to be reviewed. When I think about all of that- I really can feel my blood pressure rise. I want to plan my escape. However, I could just let it ride.
Summer has come and gone, Ellie is about to lose her first tooth and school starts on Wednesday. I need to go back to Weight Watchers, get my hair cut and mop. My cell phone won't hold a charge, the back light has gone out on the screen and I have to call people back. The bananas are bad, the dishes need to be put up and I have no idea what I am going to wear.
I think I will lay back down for an hour.

Only a month to go...

and summer '08 will be a thing of the past. This is the first summer that we have been able to "breath" since having all 4 children. I have been able to take them swimming on a consistent basis by myself, take them on a road trip, spend the night away from our home with them and everyone did great! I think that Zoe will be completely potty trained by September, when she turns 3. Lu can now swim with out floaties and she will be 4 in September. For the most part, they are "self loaders" when we have to go somewhere, and they all know when they are disobeying and when they are obeying.

Today we stayed home. Lu and Ellie and I made cookies and then had a "lemonlade" (as Lucy says) Tea Party. I am lemonade-"water logged". I never want another glass. Now, at 3:45 p.m. Zoe and Lucy are in the shower screaming at each other over 2 cups that are exactly the same. My 6 year old is in recovery from the tea party and my 8 year old is in recovery from spending the night at a friends.

I feel like this is the way things are suppose to be. Like this is the "norm". The chaos, the busyness, the constant multi-tasking, the quick "interactions" between the management of the "house" & the errand running. I have noticed that the older my kids get and the more interactions that we have with other families their age, I find myself asking, "Is this the way other families are?"

The approaching school year will be "new" for me. Abby will be in 3rd grade and Ellie will be in 1st. Both of my big girls will be attending a school rather than being home schooled. Lu will be attending pre-school somewhere and Zoe will be with me. I feel like I will be able to rest more than I have in 9 years. I do plan to take advantage of this.

As for the next 20 days...I want to weave great memories for my girls and our family. I want to rest when they are in school and celebrate when they are at home. I want to be intentional in making myself present for all of the things they love- swimming, getting sno cones, staying up late, painting their rooms and catching fire flies.

Black In America

PLEASE go to iTunes and download FREE "Black in America". It is 33 minutes long and it is a "must see". (Go to the Store, Click on TV shows & search "Black In America" in the tool bar, located at the top right hand side.) I am a little "challenged" when it comes to "linking". :) sorry!

13 years ago today...

Greg asked me to marry him! Greg, Me, My Mom & Dad went to see Apollo 13 in Mesquite. Greg asked Woody in the popcorn line what he thought about the idea of him asking me to marry him. Woody said, "That sounds like a good idea to me." We left from the theater after the movie, went to Town East and bought my ring.

We live in a society...

that hates kids. I honestly believe this. Since I am traveling by myself with the kids this week I am keenly aware of the looks on peoples faces when I walk into a business with my four daughters. I am not going into places that are designed for adults, i.e. antiques, valuables, collectibles...and for the record, I am very aware of my kid's behaviour, volume and interactions with their surroundings. All of that said, I needed to pick up a book while we were out because Abby has two books that have to be read before the beginning of the school year. I pulled the van over, got the Yellow Pages that I had borrowed from my in-laws, and looked up Books. I called the bookstore and inquired about the two books. The "Children's Specialist", as she identified herself, urged me to come in. "I have four children with me - is you're store set up in such a way to fascilitate our visit." (Yes - that is how I asked the question.) "Definitely." she replied. "If you come right now we are not busy at all."

That was the begginning of our "Worst Store Experience" ever.

What I feel like I am starting to process through is the idea that our society finds it desireable for twenty and thirty somethings to act like fifteen and eighteen year olds -but they want three and four year olds to act like twenty and thirty somethings.

It is amazing to me that no one wants to tolerate even child "sounds". No one was even willing, when seeing my struggle with the kids in the store, to somewhat "pacify" me or empathize with my situation. Long story short, after "The Specialist" staring at me, while talking about "losing her debit card" with another customer, the "Other Department Specialist" not helping me , and Lu getting hit in the eye with a Barbie Mariposa book and crying way too loud for all of the other patrons - who were apparantly very "rushed" and unconcerned, we left. Unhelped and "feeling" embarrassed.

Now, I do not want my children to be a burden to anyone - however, I am not asking you to like them. I am asking the world to please let me and my family of 6, be who we are, too. You probably do not remember that you were a child once. Things that adults said to you and did to you greatly impacted you. I am nice to people that I do not especially agree with, or even like, everyday. I may think that they have made bad life-style choices, they may smell bad, are self-consumed, arrogant or ugly...however, if I am in a situation, especially where I am providing them with a service, I help them. I must say that I was completely shocked when I heard the story out of New Hampsire where the 70 year old man was hit by a car and no one helped him or even approached him to offer comfort. After today - I am not. God has every right to send us all to Hell.

Vacation.

So...I haven't posted in awhile! I am planning on starting again after vacation. I, for the first time, took all four girls on the road...by myself. We are having a blast. We are at Greg's Mom & Dad's right now, taking lots of pictures with them & cousins, McKadan & Major. So- keep checking...I've got alot on my mind! ;)