It's time to write.

School will begin Monday. I have been wanting to sit and prepare for the past 2 weeks, however, life has swept over us and prevented us from rest and reflection.
Our friends from Waco, Daniel & Leeann gave birth to their second son, Nathaniel, last week. He was delivered at 20 weeks and died shortly after birth. Several days later, the funeral took place. I guess, since I have never seen a baby as small as this little guy, I was gripped by his presence. He looked like his Dad.
After returning, I received a phone call from my dad's cousin, who is now in her 70's. She and her husband were missionaries in Japan for over 30 years. Their health is deteriorating and they are beginning to "clean out" and disperse many things. I drove over to Richardson on Thursday morning and came back with 5 boxes of their belongings.
I told Greg that I feel "very aware of my own mortality" after this week. I feel like a sponge that has been lifted from warm, soapy water and squeezed dry...left to bake in the sun. I'm just tired.
All of this...makes me want to be a better mother. It makes me want to really invest in the girls. It makes me want to be a better wife. It makes me want to be a better friend. Greg and I have been talking about how the girls are getting to an age where they will "remember" things. They know if we are blowing them off. They know if we aren't listening. They know if we would rather be "doing something else". I do not want to be a stay at home mom that is "unavailable" or "checked out" to her children. I am glad about the timing of this realization. I am glad that school is about to start and a new year is unfolding and that I am feeling "soft". I truly want to LIVE.
I am going do lesson plans for the week tonight.
Ellie is super excited about learning to read and Abby is excited about writing in cursive. They both started Ballet last week and LOVE it. Lucy Grace is excited about staying in Ms. Hannah's class another year and Zoe is happy about "playing" at Mother's Day Out. (That will really make me cry- she's the baby!) Greg is excited about not working 2 jobs anymore and focusing on the church full time. I am excited that Starbucks will be opening in a week.
This next school year will hold many new challenges. Abby will turn 8, Lucy Grace- 3 & Zoe- 2 ! Oh, and Greg 36. We will start school, have a High School Musical Party, buy Halloween costumes and see The Lion King while it's in Dallas. We will have new discussions, Ellie will start taking Communion, and the weather will change.
We will live, cry & grow.
We will eat fish sticks, mini corn dogs and PEZ.
We will laugh, spank, sit in time out and take naps.
We will wear turtle necks that are too tight, coats that are too scratchy and jeans that are too short.
We will love each other deeply...so much that it hurts, invigorates and pushes us to be better.