that hates kids. I honestly believe this. Since I am traveling by myself with the kids this week I am keenly aware of the looks on peoples faces when I walk into a business with my four daughters. I am not going into places that are designed for adults, i.e. antiques, valuables, collectibles...and for the record, I am very aware of my kid's behaviour, volume and interactions with their surroundings. All of that said, I needed to pick up a book while we were out because Abby has two books that have to be read before the beginning of the school year. I pulled the van over, got the Yellow Pages that I had borrowed from my in-laws, and looked up Books. I called the bookstore and inquired about the two books. The "Children's Specialist", as she identified herself, urged me to come in. "I have four children with me - is you're store set up in such a way to fascilitate our visit." (Yes - that is how I asked the question.) "Definitely." she replied. "If you come right now we are not busy at all."
That was the begginning of our "Worst Store Experience" ever.
What I feel like I am starting to process through is the idea that our society finds it desireable for twenty and thirty somethings to act like fifteen and eighteen year olds -but they want three and four year olds to act like twenty and thirty somethings.
It is amazing to me that no one wants to tolerate even child "sounds". No one was even willing, when seeing my struggle with the kids in the store, to somewhat "pacify" me or empathize with my situation. Long story short, after "The Specialist" staring at me, while talking about "losing her debit card" with another customer, the "Other Department Specialist" not helping me , and Lu getting hit in the eye with a Barbie Mariposa book and crying way too loud for all of the other patrons - who were apparantly very "rushed" and unconcerned, we left. Unhelped and "feeling" embarrassed.
Now, I do not want my children to be a burden to anyone - however, I am not asking you to like them. I am asking the world to please let me and my family of 6, be who we are, too. You probably do not remember that you were a child once. Things that adults said to you and did to you greatly impacted you. I am nice to people that I do not especially agree with, or even like, everyday. I may think that they have made bad life-style choices, they may smell bad, are self-consumed, arrogant or ugly...however, if I am in a situation, especially where I am providing them with a service, I help them. I must say that I was completely shocked when I heard the story out of New Hampsire where the 70 year old man was hit by a car and no one helped him or even approached him to offer comfort. After today - I am not. God has every right to send us all to Hell.
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11 comments:
it is funny to read this after i had lunch today with only 1 child. we were not even at a fancy place with waitstaff. w. had done fine through the meal, but started crying at the end as we were getting into naptime. about the time he started crying we were walking out and i had so many people giving me glaring looks. honestly, what more can you do that leave? what do these starngers prefer i do. i smiled back to the rude looks to "kill em with kindness".
I had an exeperience very similar to yours while dining out recently. We were looked upon as a group of moms whom should have stayed home instead of heaven forbid..leave the 4 walls that apparently all of our children should stay confined behind...they might just act like a 2 year old if we dare leave. Needless to say I emailed the company..and received a $50 gift card...and just because, I took the kids to dinner:)
I'm so sorry that happened to you and your beautiful girls. I think if I had been in that position, I might be calling corporate headquarters or something. Kind of like the Cracker Barrel Santa story... :)
Trace-I cannot imagine your frustration. I hope that every single person who works in any type of service job reads this and realizes the truth in it. If you work in a situation that is designed for kids and families to be involved in it (books, food, coffee, libraries, gas stations, gorcery stores, etc.) then you should train your people to accomodate the needs of all customers...not just ignore them.
I am so sorry for your experience. I pray that we all learn from it.
I see the looks people give parents with children. I don't really understand why the world is so incredibly hateful towards children/families. While it's true I think parents should be careful about the places they take their children (meaning, avoid glass shops, antique stores, etc.); having children doesn't mean you should die to society.
At any rate, your family is precious; you are precious, and people suck. I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience.
This made me laugh, because it is so true. You should see peoples faces when you are trucking around a baby carrier still. Just the thought of a baby crying uncontrollably in public makes people cringe when they see you coming. Like the baby can help it, and like you have ANY control over when they cry. ugh. I feel your frustration. Thanks for this post.
My toddler daughter has an innate ability to weasle out of any seatbelt confinment of any and all kinds. She then likes to do what I call "Extreme Cart Surfing" from a standing position, while I am hissing at her to "Sit!". Meanwhile she is screaming in protest. And it is amazing the people that jump in to rescue her from certain death, even though I am right there with her. Then they spend their remaining moments commenting on how I really should restrain her, and how children should not be out during "naptime", which in theory is any time between noon and 6 p.m. Great Post! Makes me feel not so alone in the world of child haters.
You know, mean people just stink. It's made me think of an idea for a new bumper sticker, though.
"Future sponsors of your retirement...feel free to thank them now!!";-)
See, I'm not mean...just a little snarky;-)
Enjoy your beautiful daughters and feel free to disregard the less pleasant roaming among us!
sorry it was such a sucky deal. kids are going to be kids- and adults should try being adults sometimes!
I totally understand your frustration...6 yr old, 3 yr old, 10 mo old in a grocery store at dinnertime, after having NO NAP! 3 year old laying on the floor in the check out line screaming, baby in sling screaming, luckily the 6 yr old was behaving, and luckily the husband was with us, luckily I could drag the screamers out to the car.
but all that to say, I feel your pain.
Breeder.
Amen and amen! I keep trying to figure out why all of a sudden everyone looks at children as a burden and not the blessing they truly, truly are.
Great 'meeting' you today- love it when I meet someone who 'gets it'. :0) Amy
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