Parenting the Hurt Child

This is the title of one of the books that we purchased this weekend at The Greater Houston Adoption and Orphan Care Conference. The conference was informative, encouraging, motivating and convicting.
I am always intrigued by the people that the Lord has us cross paths with. Josh and Amy Bottomly, who co-authored the memoir, From Ashes to Africa, spoke in the same room as us the hour before. Josh did a wonderful job reminding me of the powerful ability that one person has to "bring order to chaos". Josh and Amy have partnered with The Red Letter Campaign(I also met Sam and his wife, Wendi, who started this campaign with a goal of raising $50 K and to date have raised $750 K) and Children's Hope Chest "to form an online community that sponsors three orphanges in Addis Ababa." What an encouragement, motivation and kick in the butt to "do something"...anything but nothing. I have honestly not thought too much about over seas adoption. I think that I am too lazy. It embarrasses me to say that, however, that is what I see when I look in the mirror. To adopt overseas can be a lengthy, expensive, pain-staking endeavor. I am praying that I would be able to have a hand in bringing change to some of these impoverished areas, for these impoverished people.

"...fourty two thousand children were adopted from foster care alone in 1999. There were sixteen thousand adopted from countries oversees. Almost all of these children have suffered trauma, be it movement from home to home, by parent or orphanage care, or abuse. Some of these children have fragile genetics. Many others were bathed in alcohol and drugs before birth.. Some were left on porches, and more than a few were recovered from trash containers or rescued from homes in which most rooms appeared to be a trash container." (pg.9) "Whether a child's mother left him in China due to socio-political reasons- or if he was dumped in a U.S. high school bathroom because his mother was terrified to tell anyone about her pregnancy- the end result is the same: the infant was abandoned by the woman who gave him life." (pg.15)
I remember reading excerpts like those pre-adoption and thinking, "Man, these people are really reaching. The kid didn't even have solid memories- there is no way that all of these "issues" can be pinned on abandonment & loss." Today, I think differently.
Things are not the way they are suppose to be.
When a new mom jumps at every whimper of her pink, fragile, baby- God smiles. "Children are a blessing from the Lord."
When a father boast to his neighbor about his son's accomplishments - God applauds."This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased."
When a mom or dad works all day, and sometimes all night, to take care of the child that has been entrusted to them - God blesses. "I have been young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread."
The sad truth is that this is not the reality for thousands of infants, babies & children. What a scary time to be born into the world.
Foster care, adoption & orphan care can create a messy "life". I have to be honest, I do not think that every one should adopt. I do not believe that every one should foster. I do not believe that every one should move overseas to live at the orphanage. I think that there are some people that can handle fostering better than orphan care- and their are others that are up for the task of adoption.
However, I do believe that all three of these are our responsibility. In some way- we must help the family that fosters. In some way- we must care for the traumatized children and minister to the shell shocked families who are raising them. In some way- we must walk along side those who have moved to Ethiopia to care for the 10 year old orphan and her 4 younger siblings.
God, help us.