So the truth is...

I have had no time to blog. Most people do not know this...but I love to write. In fact, I do it in my head all day. There is a constant commentary playing. Note that I said "commentary" and not "voices". I am constantly thinking of ways to write what is taking place in real time. I know that that is odd but I have done it for as long as I can remember. Maybe it is something I started doing to make sense of things around me...but I have no idea when it began or what set it into action. If I saw a ball roll into the street I would think something like, "The ball was carried down the street by the cool wind of the evening like a leaf resting on a calm stream." What the heck is wrong with me? I am just now coming to terms with my need for therapy.

As you know, I began homeschooling again mid-February. I have gone back and forth about how much to post concerning this decision, however, one writes about what one knows. On that note, here I go.

When I began homeschooling several years ago I was very nervous about my decision. I saw it as a choice that some made when other options seemed less promising. Most of my insecurities rested in what others thought about my decision. Most of my fears were grounded in the unknown. Can I do it? Can I do it right?

Thanks be to God- I am no longer in that place. I am convinced that we are where we should be. Since I am coming back to it- I no longer have the fear and I am free from the concern about what others think about our decision to do this. For those of you who have more than one child, remember your second birth compared to your first. Remember bringing your second, third or fourth child home from the hospital. With our first daughter we followed all of the rules. With our second, we weren't near as concerned about what "they" said we should do or how to do it. By the time our third was here - she was just along for the ride.

I have noticed some things this time around that have peaked my interest a little. Almost everyone who has entered into a discussion with me on homeschooling has approached it from the perspective of what we are taking away from our children versus what we are giving to them. The past several weeks we have been in the re-entry stage. We are learning to be home together again. I have had to apologize, ask them to forgive me & become more patient already. I have had to learn again how they learn. Knowing how they learn and having to teach an idea or concept to them changes our dynamic so much. We truly communicate. I must admit, I had to go back to Abby on Friday and ask her to forgive me because I was explaining something in a way that made perfect sense to me - but not to her. I was so angry that she wasn't understanding what I was saying. I stepped back, got some coffee, asked her to forgive me for my attitude and then we started over and she got it. See, even this process was good for us.

We begin at 9:00 every morning. We go to the table, talk, pray, read the bible (right now we are in Romans), go to YouTube and find a worship song that has lyrics (this past week we sang, Jesus Messiah by Chris Tomlin everyday). We take time for prayer request, confession of sins and prayer. After that both older girls start with math and then go on to their reading workbooks. Next they have grammar, writing & memorization work. Ellie is finishing up Little House in the Big Woods, which she was reading in school & Abby is reading Annie Oakley. We are reading out loud in the afternoon, The Magician's Nephew. They are not doing much more than this for the rest of this year. Of course Ellie is being tested on spelling and reading. Abby is doing a lot of reading and lots of narration/book reports. The fall will be a different story. We did decide to go with Veritas Press. We ordered their curriculum last month. I love the classical model. I'm a nerd. The history, Bible, Latin....I dig it.

If I were to sum up where I am now compared to where I was- I would say something like this: "The clumsy enthusiast groped along until one day she realized that her once fresh bruises were gone and felicity's sweet song was leading her still."