Spring Brake

I am sitting at the foot of my bed on the love seat. I am sitting "criss-cross- applesauce" sideways leaning against a pile of laundry. I would have to have about 10 pillows to achieve the same level of comfort that I am experiencing now from "all that is unfinished". We have had a great week- all things considered. It would be a lie to say that it has been care-free and non-tumultuous. It has been a hard week, however, it was needed. The activity load, because it was Spring Break, was strenuous; as well as expensive - but the photographs are tangible memories of the activities that were so quick to end. The bird "cage" at the zoo was not quick- the girls could have stayed in there all day. I, however, do not share the same love for the canaries.

We did not go skiing, rock climbing or to the beach. We stayed home every night. the girls had a couple of friends sleep over. It wasn't until Thursday that I thought, "We should DO something." So about 10 a.m. we loaded up with a friend and her girls and took off. We had a great day at the zoo and got home around 6:30 that night. The girls were tired and their friends wound up staying the night here. The next morning my mom took my four to Chuck E. Cheese. We were there all day. It was actually really fun and I had a great time being there with my mom. Thus far, it is the highlight of Lucy Grace's life. She could barely sleep the night before. She loved it. They all had so much fun and wore themselves out running & playing games. Zoe threw a fit when we told her that it was time to leave. That's when I noticed that the manager was watching us.

I knew what was coming. He came closer to us. "What's wrong with her?" he asked. "Oh, she's just upset because it's time to go." I said. I moved away from him but he stayed close by me until we got to the light: the one that you put your arm under to make sure that someone's not leaving with the wrong family. I have only had this happen about two other times. I knew that he wanted to make sure that Zoe was mine and I am appreciative of that, however, I am not sure how i would've proven to him that she was mine other than with a family picture. Someone told me that they carry a copy of their child's birth certificate & adoption "something or another" with them just in case the police is called. Maybe I need to consider that- not sure. honestly, if I did that - it would probably wind up with lip prints or chewed gum on it. Zoe knows that our skin is different and she knows that I am her mom...and I'm pretty sure that she could take someone out.

Every night this week Greg has read with the girls -just like normal. We have eaten all of our evening meals together -just the same. We have all started out in our own beds and then somehow everyone ends up in ours -as usual. That's why i was shocked by Abby's statement this morning.
"Mom," she said. "We haven't got to spend very much time together this week."
Humph..."What?" I asked.
"You know, like 'together'" she said.
I must confess - I'm not sure exactly what she means. But what I think she means, and by how she responded to what I said, makes me believe that I am pretty close.
"So, you mean like sitting at the table talking & reading with each other? Like we do on school days?" I asked.
She smiled, shook her head and said, "Yep. I like that."
"Yep," I said smiling back. "Me too."

I am glad to get a brake from the break. I am glad to re-engage and to lose the carnival of activity again. Even though it was fun - I am....We are...home-bodies. Boring, coffee-drinking, snuggle-up, memory making home-bodies. And, from her statement to me- it seems that there is still a lot of "unfinished business" that I need to settle into with the girls. Sometimes I believe that I am accomplishing the same goal with the girls by "hauling" them everywhere, entertaining them with activities and getting them to the other people that they will "engage" with that day. But the truth is- I'm not.

While I am typing, I can smell the brisket that is cooking for lunch tomorrow. Our church eats a planned meal together every third Sunday after worship. I love this meal. Apart from all of the great food that everyone signs up to bring, we have such great conversation together -sitting across the table from one another, engaging, sharing food, laughing and listening. For some of these individuals- this might be the only meal that they share with another person all week. For all of us it is significant and shaping.

I believe, as a Christian, that our families are micro-cosms of the church. Should we not just be "making time for"- but rather centering our existence as a family "around" these times of worship and great conversations together; sitting across the table from one another, engaging, sharing food, laughing and listening to each other, being shaped by and shaping our family....as well as -inviting others to our table.

I pray that my days will not be a blur. I pray that I will keep a thoughtful, simple, harnessed view of how life is to be. As one writer says, "Teach me to order my days correctly that I might gain a heart of wisdom" - So be it.