Loosing Me

The most difficult transition for me, concerning parenthood, over the past twelve years has been loosing myself. I have noticed that I have become a very un-opinionated individual concerning "stuff". I really do not care a whole lot anymore about where we eat, if I get to buy a new pair of Tom's or if we watch Discovery or NatGeo. (Now, music is an entirely different subject!) I think that I, concerning our family, am learning slowly but surely, how to let go.
When Abby was 2 1/2 and Ellie was about 4 months, I got a job. "I needed a job so that I felt like I was accomplishing something." It is really comical to me to read that statement now, however, then it was survival. I remember telling Greg that I didn't feel as if I could accomplish one task all day - that I wouldn't have to turn right around and re-do due to the precious 2 year old. So I got a job at Starbucks and believe me, I felt great pride in taking the trash out there, cleaning the store and making drinks that seemed like gold to the customer.
Now, I am busy all day- re-doing what I did the day before. I am washing all of the time. Picking up plates, re-filling milk cups & picking up wet towels. I am building,however, one block at a time, one day at a time, one encouraging word, one "good job", one pat at a time. I have learned that in loosing me I am finding me.
I think that at the beginning of every school year I have to re-focus. I have to preach the Gospel to myself. I must re-new my mind and my will. I am seeing though, by God's grace, what I was unable to see before. My grandchildren need me now, to pour into their mom's. My future son-in-laws are relying on me to train, mold, indoctrinate and teach-how-to-follow, their future wives. I have felt, and now more than ever, the weight of this God-given purpose.