We are going full speed ahead in the Fields' House. With the speed comes little time to re-group & re-create. There are several things in my life that I feel I can never complete: laundry, dishes, floors, closets, bathrooms...etc. I often think about how important it is to me, and my family, that our house "feel" like a home: a place of grace and rest...not chaos and confusion. Now, that does not mean that ours is clutter free, quiet and never out of order. In fact- it's the complete opposite of this. If you were to walk in to my house today you would find piles of sorted laundry that need to be put away, drawers of worksheets that have quickly been shuffled from the Tuesday Folder to the Catch All Center. One thing that I have discovered about my family is that we live life hard. We wear things out faster than most. We stain things and seem to exhaust the resources faster than we can replenish them. This is a difficult way to live. We do not have the luxury of donating last falls boots because there is another child that needs them this fall. We have had to learn to overlook carpet stains, worn fabric on a chairs, and a house litterd with rock collections, broken crayons and shoe laces being used as leashes on stuffed puppies. I must admit- this can wear on my soul. It is truly a battle at times. However, it is not near as taxing as it used to be. I guess it has become an issue of survival...and at times finding joy in suffering. Many would not define this as suffering. However, if anyone has ever had to engage in mind battle to talk yourself through the stress you feel "when you just cleaned the house yesterday and it's already a mess" then you understand the toll that this can take on you. I think that I have really had to learn to let certain things go and set realistic expectations. I feel if I can get my entire house cleaned, and by cleaned I mean, everything in its place, the floors swept, the bedrooms vaccumed and the bathrooms cleaned, ONCE a week- then I am ok. The rest of the time I try to keep the front two rooms orderly. That way if someone drops in I'm not freaking out the whole time. Also, I hate for the main living areas to feel cluttery when the girls come home from school. I think they feel better when the come home to a more peaceful, orderly environment. I have often thought that you can tell the "type" of life a person lives by looking at their house. As much as I would like for my home to be featured in Cottage Living, the reality is that we are better qualified for an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. Someones house can be really orderly because it is not "lived in". So, all things considered, my livable house will have to do. For now I am praying that it will serve as salve for my weary body and not an irritant.
In the words of the modern sage, Kenny Chesney, "So I've been trying to slow down. I've been trying to take it easy- in this here today gone tomorrow world we're living in. Don't blink- just like that your six years old and you take a nap...you wake up and your 25 and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife. Don't blink- you just might miss your babies growing like mine did; turning into moms & dads, next thing you know your Better Half of 50 years is there in bed and your praying God takes you instead...Don't Blink....life goes faster than you think!"
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