Memorization

I love the structure of the Classical Approach to education. It has been so much fun, and very interesting, to see how "on target" it is. Abby is in the Grammar Stage right now- which means that she is "memorizing" and narrating back to me a lot of the time. It is really difficult for me to adjust to this more "long term" delayed gratification "style" of education. I mean, she does memorize a lot right now...and that is beneficial - however, she will not truly understand much of what she has memorized until she is a little farther down the path. This "uneasiness" I am feeling is good for me. It keeps me on my feet...constantly trying to talk with her, as well as Ellie, about everything. I try to find the answers to whatever they ask me- age appropriate of course. I do think that there are questions that they might be able to "come up with", that have answers that they are not mature enough to handle.

Explaining, defining, discussing...it is really a challenge for me to have to explain words, concepts and ideas that I have not ever entered into a discussion about.

It is fun for me to hear them "repeat" what I think I am saying!

I cannot wait to see that new tv show that is coming out with Jeff Foxworthy...something like, "So you think you're smarter than a 5th grader."

I would never go on that show...if I did that- the State would find me, and make me, put my kids back in the system.

"We're sorry Mrs. F, but you are a complete moron."

No lie...I would bottom out.

"We'll let you keep homeschooling if you can tell us which president is on the $2 bill."

"Umm....umm...."

"Time's up, Mrs. F....If you want your daughter to succeed in her education you MUST know WHO is on the $2 bill."

Silence.

I crawl back into bed.....after my kids have caught the bus.

Hypothetically Speaking...

Let's say it's 4:30 a.m....just for fun, and you have a one very small child...still in recovery from the flu, teething and an ear infection. The good news is that the flu and ear infection are better now...but those dang teeth- i mean, you gotta have 'em.

Listen- this is why it's easier to just get a dog. you can put them in the back yard...and go back to bed....better yet, a gold fish.

The problem with goldfish, though, is that they don't like oatmeal...which is an "essential" when you are up at 3:15 a.m. and need a little comfort and help to get through the night.

The other thing about goldfish is that they don't laugh. Even at 4:22 a.m. it's difficult to be angry with a 1 1/2 year old who says, "Mama" and laughs at the same time. And you know, at least I get to drink "my first cup of coffee" with out 40 fingers "jostling" my cup to "have a sip".

Raise your hand if it's doesn't appeal to you in some small way to hear a mumbling little 18 month old try to sing, "D-D-D-Dora!" at 5:02 a.m..

A fish would never understand me.

Now, a dog.....that's a different story....

Let the sun shine.

So, it has been several days since i have posted. President's Day was yesterday, to which my children asked, "Is Grams going to buy us a present?" They LOVE special days because, well, they get stuff! I guess I don't need to tell you how I answered that question.

We did not have school on President's Day. We had friends in from out-of-town today so...back to the grind tomorrow. I think that these little breaks help us. I think that they are so refreshing. we played outside ALL day today. I mean, it was gorgeous. I am so glad that we got to enjoy. Abby climbed trees in the front yard for two hours. Ellie got in one and stayed there. She has learned quickly!

We had coffee saturday afternoon with a long time educator, former principal and administrator in the school system. This is all one person, not three different individuals. He has taught for 30 years. He has alot of wisdom and insight into children, public education and culture as a whole. The conversation was very beneficial and really helped us in some of our "planning" for the future. i truly believe that our society has changed so much since the inception of standardized, public education that there is "room" for us to be creative in our approach to educating.

One quick observation that i do have. I have noticed that since i began homeschooling- that there has not been one person that i have come in contact with that does not have an opinion about it. i could never just be having a casual conversation with someone and they say, "So, how do the kids like school?"

and I say, "Oh, they love it....we homeschool."

and they say, "Really. I've never thought one way or the other about it..."

Never happen. Not in a million years.

i have always had people who do not homeschool tell me that the thing that they do not like about homeschoolers is that, "They (homeschoolers) think that that is the only way to educate your children!"

The funny thing that i am seeing though is.... that i have heard many homeschooler's say, when it comes to the idea of "how best to educate your child?"..... "Listen, you have to do whatever is best for your family."

On the contrary....I have heard soooo many times in the last several months, by those who are not supporters...that their "idea" of education is truly the best way...and even the implied ONLY way. Now, it obviously was not stated that way...but it might as well have been. It is kindof a flashback to the whole "tolerance" debate. the ones who are screaming tolerance (on their behalf) are the most intolerant. this has been an interesting "twist" to me...i was not expecting it.

Hoefully these types of statements will make me "weigh" mine a little more.

"The Greatest of These is Love..."

So, last night, in the wee hours...i posted. well, i thought i posted. it obviously did not "post"...it evaporated.

i talked about "connection". the connection that a parent feels with their child. this connection is scarey because it is never broken, not even in death. it is not broken by rebellion, seperation or illness. that is what makes me "fearful". I have friends who have lost "touch" with their children for various reasons and their lives seem "fractured". It's as if a mirror has slipped out of their pocket, fallen to the ground and shattered...but it is held in place by the frame. You're not sure if you should keep it or throw it away...it almost mocks at you - "Can't you just throw me away and go on?" or "I am still good...You can still see your reflection in me, can't you?"

i experienced for the very first time this week what i have been warned about for several years...

Just two weeks ago things were "different". Abby just didn't notice certain things. She's very smart...in fact she is a great communicator. She is very insightful and sensetive. She is dramatic, uninterrupted, and "full". I would say things jokingly to her like, "I want you to stop growing up." or "Abby, when you grow up will you still sit in my lap?" But this week something happened...

She really showed signs of "growing up".

The ability to make connections unlike before, an understanding about concepts that were a little too heavy just 14 days ago, and confessions. That's right - "confessing"...telling us about things that she has done over the past 2 years at home, school, at friend's houses, and at McDonald's. And don't get nervous...there has been no drug trafficing, no auto theft, and no explosives ....just normal 5-7 year old disobedience. However, we didn't know any of it. I guess we really still wouldn't have to know any of it. We do however, really want to keep her talking to us! :)

The point is...we have been "here" and she is still independent of us in so many ways.

I am very "aware" of this right now because this is the first time that i have actually "felt" this type of connection.

I didn't feel this when I dropped her off at school or a birthday party....

It is not about location or distance- it is about ... cooking.

that's right, cooking. You start with a recipe. Then you buy all of these seperate ingredients that have no relationship to one another. you mix them- powders, liquids, solids. You cook them and you get - children. I mean, all of these random things happened and now i have a seven going-on-twenty-seven year old living in my house.

She WILL make choices in her life that I will not agree with...but they will affect me. She WILL choose to do things that I will have no say in...I feel as if my "say" is now. Once she is mature- I am the "resource". No matter what- I am "there". This is really humbling and a bit over-whelming....

I think that because we want the best for our kiddos we tend to "obsess" over every little thing. This is because we are learning what the important things are...

we just don't know.

I mean... Are they going to get cancer if i let them drink a Diet Pepsi? What if I don't give them Raw Sugar and they have to eat things that are white? And what about Lysol? Should they be smelling aerosals? What if I let them watch Rugrats...Will they turn out like Angelica?

What if they make the one wrong choice that could change everything? (What ever that is.)

Today Abby read this verse to me, "Don't worry over anything whatever; whenever you pray tell God every detail of your needs in thankful prayer, and the peace of God, which surpasses human understanding, will keep constant gaurd over your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus."

constant gaurd....over MY heart.

Listen while you work.

(to link to audio - click on title)

Sometimes during the day, because I can feel really consumed with "kid stuff", I listen to a discussion or sermon while I am cleaning or the kids are resting.

I listened to this on Shawnda's site and thought that I would pass it on. I love John Piper and love his sermons on race, adoption, or any social justice issue. This is about adoption. Since we are Christians this is something that we feel strongly about. I was so encouraged by the "truth" that I heard in this message. My heart was truly revived.

This is not a post on Homeschooling...but hey, it's Sunday.

"Why am I doing this?"

The past couple of days I have had several "first".
One of those happened last night.
We went to a super fun "party" last night that one of our friends put together. We wound up setting at a table with a group of people that I have actually known for quite a while but have never had the opportunity to engage with on a social level. We had a great conversation about foster care, because one of the couples had been involved with this for several years, and about our families. When the conversation began to die down a little, one of the wives asked if our "girls were in school at "XYZ" since we lived just a couple of blocks from there." I hesitantly answered, because I am gutless for the most part and I preface everything, "Well, they were at 'LMNOP' ..."
"Great" she said inturrupting me before I could finish, "That's a good school."
"But," I said, "We started homeschooling this semester."
"What?" she said a little more loudly than I was comfortable with. "Are you a glutton for punishment or what?"
She began telling me about her history as a mom. With her first two, she worked and they went to school. With her much younger adopted child, they put her in day care when she was three days old and "it was the best decision that they have ever made because she knows what she wants, she knows how to ask for it and she isn't attached at the hip." She said that she doesn't take her to school, her husband gets the daughter ready every morning, does her hair, breakfast, etc.. They get ready and out the door without waking her up every morning so that she can sleep. She no longer works so "she gets to have the days to herself, and she sees her daughter when she gets in from school every afternoon." She is 5. She loves her kids very much and she seems to be a "good" mom, we do, however, have different philosophies on raising children.

Seemingly long pause.........

This morning was difficult. We were tired and it was a beautiful day outside. I kept thinking, "Why am I making her sit here and do this work when it is so nice outside?" So...I told her to go outside and ride her bike and we called a couple of friends and went to the park. We had lunch and played. I called a friend back in the "Heartland" who homeschools and asked if my thinking was "off". I mean, "This is one of the reasons that we are homeschooling. Right?"

Then I thought, "Why AM I doing this?" I'm not sure that I have even "listed" those reasons for myself to see. Seems like a very obvious place to start...

#1. Because it is the right thing for our family. Our evenings seem to get swallowed up with activites that are fun and beneficial. I fear that our kids get the "short end of the stick" when we/they are gone from 7:50 a.m. until 3:00 p.m. and then we have an "outing" , or people over, etc. at 6:00 p.m. and they go to bed at 8:00 p.m.. That leaves me & dad seeing them for for about 4 hours out of the day. That leaves me getting a "short stick, too" because I want to enjoy them. Let me say that not everyone who has their kids in school has the same scheduling "delimnas" that we do. With Greg pastoring and temporarily working an additional job, we are busier than alot of families. This has been a good solution for us, right now.

#2. It gives me more time to "deal" with "heart issues". This is one of the things that my friend from the "Heartland" addressed. When my child is deliberating or arguing with me at the table about a "lesson" that I have told them to complete or that I am teaching them , because they just do not want to do it...that is not ok. Many parents hold to a philosophy of parenting that allows their child to be in control or to dictate what the day "looks like". I completely disagree with this. I am not speaking of "play time" when they are at the zoo or playing "make-believe". I am talking about rebellion. This gives me the opportunity to say, "Why are you speaking to Mommy like that? Do you think that that is ok? What do you think is going on in your heart right now that makes you want to argue with me about something that I have told you to do?" It creates opportunities for real discussions.

Maybe those are the only reasons....that I am aware of now.

So, what about going to the park in the middle of the day? I am learning that Homeschooling is- just that- HOME schooling. I am not in a state-funded school, or privatized school that dictates scheduling. I think that I have been frustrated because I have been mixing "cultures". We are at HOME. It will not EVER be the same as if she were in a classroom.

Tonight, when I was putting A. to bed, we had a long discussion about how much she misses the "games" at school, playing with her friends, and all the "fun" group stuff....after which, I admittedly felt "threatened". Silly, but true. I was thinking, "I am really gonna screw her up. One day she's going to tell people, 'My mom wanted to homeschool me sooo bad. I'll never do THAT to my child.' "

So, I had the idea, as if it would be redemptive in some small way, to ask her, "Why do you think that Mommy wants to homeschool you?" I mean, we have had alot of discussions about education, family, catechesis...

And without a second thought she firmly stated, "Because you don't want to spend the money."

The moral of the story: Don't try to turn everything into a lesson. Just don't do it. It's not worth it.

Just let the 7 year old think what ever it is she thinks...

"Is the symphony educational?"

We decided to meet Abby's first grade class at McDonald's on Friday. That was the prelude to the Dallas Symphony Concert that is offered free, to all elementary school kids, in the county every year. I was a little nervous about meeting back up with Abby's class, curious to what she would feel about our "homeschool endeavor" - after seeing her friends collectively. We got there early so that we wouldn't have to wait to order...basically, because I am not very patient. When her class did arrive, I noticed that she was a little shy at first...but then jumped right in like before.

When it was time to go to the symphony it was very important to her to "ride" with someone...I guess because everyone else was riding with a group. So my friend Christi, as mentioned in previous post, who is also homeschooling, had met us at McDonald's, let Abby ride with her family.

This is very interesting to me...the whole desire for "society". I think that it being found outside of the family is very "modern" and American. I really want to monitor this and try to combat it in some ways.

Anyway- off to the Symphony. We had a great time. They did "Peter & The Wolf" with a high school performance team assisting with drama. Abby loved it and has continued to talk about it. I am glad that we went and I think that these "means" of education and "contact" are vital for us and we will take more of these opportunities as they arise.

So, I know what your wondering... Does she want to go back to school. The answer: she never mentioned it and I never brought it up. I asked her if she had fun playing with her friends and she said, "Yes".

That was it.